Please don't worry. Yes, tomorrow you are going to have lunch with That One, that one who makes you cry on dance floors during Maggie May and lie awake all night and sit alone in kitchens. But it will be okay. Just think of it like a normal lunch with any old person. It's not a big deal.
You know you exagerate. Maybe all that nonsense is just in your head. Say to yourself, "Past? What past? What lengthy and drawn-out string of emotions? I had no idea." Just pretend. You probably made it all up.
None of this was your fault. You couldn't help how either of you felt then, and you could not have changed what he did or didn't do. As for what has happened since you came to Toronto, it was probably already too late.
Under no circumstances should you go through all your old papers tonight. Ditto for combing old livejournal entries. You must not listen to all that kind of music tonight either.
Just do your homework and hang out with your roommates. Don't hole up in your room! You will be fine if you just don't set yourself to thinking about it.
You don't know what will happen tomorrow. Maybe you're all wrong. And maybe you'll see that things turned out the right way after all. Maybe you were right all along. Maybe things will go back to the old way, or maybe they won't, and it will be okay. This is not a blight, this is not a black shadow on you. You will not carry this forever.
Love, Yourself.
PS: Agreed, why IS it drizzly out? Goddam pathetic fallacy.
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