Then I just watched the clock tick around for a while.
måndag 23 november 2009
lördag 21 november 2009
My grandfather trained to be an accountant, and could worry over real things, study hard numbers and maths and ledgers, with a real purpose in mind. Here I am poring over texts, while the sun sets behind me at 3pm, after shining all day for the first time in weeks, trying to write a paper of some kind and mould my slumbering little mind into some kind of genius-ness. I wish I could just nap.
fredag 20 november 2009
onsdag 18 november 2009
White night gown, soft dark hair, lying in bed not reading. Listening to Devendra, thinking about walking home, golden maple leaves in the air above us, paths through school yards and damp tree branches and old streams and lawns and gardens. Driving through old towns, biking along old roads, orchards, vineyards, front yards, basketball hoops.
I want to grow up and live in a farm house and write some-things.
I want to grow up and live in a farm house and write some-things.
tisdag 17 november 2009
things I do:
lay in bed for an hour, put contacts in take contacts out, polish nails, take polish off, pin hair up and let it down again. powder face, line eyes, smooth mascara, rub it off again.
wash clothes, wash hair, wash dishes, cycle to school, read seven theory books, read twelve novels or more, take photos of red berries, magpies, treetops, get film developed, ride elevators, read old magazines, pretend its the 50s 60s, watch films, imagine films I'd record, eat snacks, fix lunch, not speaking swedish, read german one page one word at a time, forget it all, read it again, check novels out of the library for future reading, stack books, tidy desk, look out the window, pretend to be elegant and literary, wish for a math brain, think about science, drink beers, write papers, watch the sun set at 3 pm, playing cards, carrying an umbrella, forgetting gloves, walking to class, pronouncing strange vowels, gazing admiringly into windows of apartments and houses, adore lovely houses, get lost in the stacks, sing in the shower, wish to be in montreal, listen to the beatles, re-read postcards, photograph myself, play chess, play hearts, make tea, make coffee, make more tea & coffee all day long, think about old people, listen to piano music, turn on the radio, ponder how things could turn out differently, get sick, get well, hang around an ink well, imitate aunts, draw in a small book, think about sewing, remember old bedrooms & sinks, analyze passages, make the bed, turn down the sheets.
lay in bed for an hour, put contacts in take contacts out, polish nails, take polish off, pin hair up and let it down again. powder face, line eyes, smooth mascara, rub it off again.
wash clothes, wash hair, wash dishes, cycle to school, read seven theory books, read twelve novels or more, take photos of red berries, magpies, treetops, get film developed, ride elevators, read old magazines, pretend its the 50s 60s, watch films, imagine films I'd record, eat snacks, fix lunch, not speaking swedish, read german one page one word at a time, forget it all, read it again, check novels out of the library for future reading, stack books, tidy desk, look out the window, pretend to be elegant and literary, wish for a math brain, think about science, drink beers, write papers, watch the sun set at 3 pm, playing cards, carrying an umbrella, forgetting gloves, walking to class, pronouncing strange vowels, gazing admiringly into windows of apartments and houses, adore lovely houses, get lost in the stacks, sing in the shower, wish to be in montreal, listen to the beatles, re-read postcards, photograph myself, play chess, play hearts, make tea, make coffee, make more tea & coffee all day long, think about old people, listen to piano music, turn on the radio, ponder how things could turn out differently, get sick, get well, hang around an ink well, imitate aunts, draw in a small book, think about sewing, remember old bedrooms & sinks, analyze passages, make the bed, turn down the sheets.
lördag 14 november 2009
a lovely swedish saturday:
wandering in the drizzle to pick up books and drop off film and admire perfectly appointed windowsills, peer in the windows of used bookshops (antiqvariat), marvel over perfect houses on rainy up and down streets, stop at the grocery store. Home, perfectly excellent tomato, onion + feta omelette for a late lunch, lounge drowsily on the couch reading the newspaper, top off with Cléo de 5 à 7
the things I saw if I'd only had my camera, a portrait of Bogart & Bergman in the corner of a windowsill, a basement record shop with three smiling old men around the counter, clinging green leaves.
I wish I had a movie camera.
wandering in the drizzle to pick up books and drop off film and admire perfectly appointed windowsills, peer in the windows of used bookshops (antiqvariat), marvel over perfect houses on rainy up and down streets, stop at the grocery store. Home, perfectly excellent tomato, onion + feta omelette for a late lunch, lounge drowsily on the couch reading the newspaper, top off with Cléo de 5 à 7
the things I saw if I'd only had my camera, a portrait of Bogart & Bergman in the corner of a windowsill, a basement record shop with three smiling old men around the counter, clinging green leaves.
I wish I had a movie camera.
fredag 13 november 2009
Wonderful:
Seven days in Russia, an evening in a warm cavern-y pub, Christmas in Paris with a dearest friend, creamed spinach for dinner, wonderful classes, Woody Allen for cold Swedish evenings, a languid and lingering old-fashioned feelgood, discovering the best shelves and corners in bookstores and libraries, snowfall, scholarly excursions to Stockholm, liking to re-see my own photos, a pleasant and gentle home-sickly nostalgia, a dreamy afternoon with the sun shining golden on the field outside, everything lovely and fine.
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