My grandfather trained to be an accountant, and could worry over real things, study hard numbers and maths and ledgers, with a real purpose in mind.  Here I am poring over texts, while the sun sets behind me at 3pm, after shining all day for the first time in weeks, trying to write a paper of some kind and mould my slumbering little mind into some kind of genius-ness.  I wish I could just nap.